Queen Mindset Leadership: Remembering Who the F*ck I Am
If my Queen Mindset Leadership journey is new to you, start here.
“Oh, so there’s no room for Self—got it!” After looking at my Wheel of Life results and hearing about what’s on my calendar every week, Dra. CarolLaine called out the one thing I had been ignoring for months.
When she straight up asked, “Where is your room for Self?” I was like, “What’s that?” and chuckled awkwardly.
But it’s not funny.
Looking back at how I was existing before QML, I feel sad for past Sabrina. She was so one-dimensional. For the record, I wasn’t always that way, but by the time I started working with CarolLaine in June 2024, I had let myself be totally consumed by my business.
In fact, starting this blog was one of the first things I did after deciding to work with her. I was craving creative expression, and being a writer, this felt like the most natural way to get back to myself.
At the end of our first session (and many sessions after that), CarolLaine told me my homework (I love homework because I am a giant nerd) was to take myself out on a date. I was to get all dressed up in my favorite color and do something all by myself that made me feel happy and loved.
My mind flashed to how I hate all my clothes and I didn’t have extra money to spend dating myself and what about all the work I had to do (even though it was the weekend). And maybe most of all, the thing I see clearly now but couldn’t then: What if I do this and realize I really don’t like me?
Well, Sabrina, you’re stuck with you either way…
Thankfully, I had a freakin’ blast. I put on a beautiful yellow dress and purple dunks, packed a bag with a book, a journal, a water bottle, and sunscreen, and walked to my favorite coffee shop. After writing there for a bit while I sipped on my favorite drink, I walked to the farmer’s market (where I bought some cute little zucchinis I never ate) and then to one of my favorite indie bookshops.
And I didn’t think about work. I didn’t spend too much money. I relaxed into my outfit (even after being catcalled a few times—which if I’m being honest, did boost my confidence a bit). I read and wrote and people-watched.
I felt like me.
Losing yourself doesn’t always feel like a giant event. For a few years in college and after, I was super depressed and very much not myself. But I knew it then. It was obvious.
Before QML, I had slowly been losing the parts of myself I loved most without really realizing it. And after just the first few calls with CarolLaine, I was able to see those parts of me again. And slowly, I was able to access them. Like the Personality Islands in Inside Out, the different parts of me that make me Sabrina were lighting up again.
Soon, it didn’t feel like such a daunting thing to date myself. My solo dates to the farmer’s market became a weekly occurrence. I’d go to the park and read or stare at the clouds weekly, too. I was spending more time with myself, and it was like reconnecting with an old friend.
I found myself less stressed, more grounded, and excited to have things to do outside of my work. And that space I was creating for myself totally made my work better, too.
Next time, I’ll tell you about how all this has affected my book coaching business.
If you’re interested, Dra. CarolLaine is hosting a Queen Mindset Leadership Mastermind, and doors open on Thursday, October 31st! I’m not getting paid to promote this (I swear!); I just really believe in the work she does. I’m a testament to how much can change in 15 weeks.
Imagine what’s possible for you.
