Queen Mindset Leadership: The Biggest Shift
If you’re new to my Queen Mindset Leadership journey, read this first and then this.
“If you want to create that much space for people, you have to create that much space for yourself.”
I was getting kind of tired of Coach CarolLaine saying obvious shit. But it wasn’t her I was tired of—it was me.
Why didn’t I already know this?! Why did I need someone else to point out the very obvious fact that I can only take people so far before I’m out of my depth?
Well, for many reasons: social conditioning, little-t traumas throughout my life, being too close to myself to see my own bullshit. But that’s the beauty of working with a coach—they help you see what you can’t yet.
Part of my Queen Mindset Leadership (QML) work with Dra. CarolLaine M. García included weekly reflection questions. They served as chakra-based journal prompts for me to complete at my leisure. But lemme tell you: One thing about me? I will fuck up a journal prompt.
I was born to write. And I’ve diagnosed myself with Main Character Syndrome (that’s mostly a joke), so reflective writing? About me? Say less.
Before our sacral session, I was reflecting on a question about how my work with BIPOC writers connects to my own desires and values, and about my unique perspectives and strengths.
After some written complaints about answering what was essentially a “unique value proposition” question (what I can I say? I was grumbly), this came out:
“I am a soft landing for people. I hold space. I empathize. I make them feel seen and heard and held. I see what they can’t and I share my vision and insights in ways that provoke thoughts, feelings, and intangible internal shifts.
I don’t actually see it as my job to get their stories and ideas out into the world. It’s my job to help them be the person they need to be to reach that goal. That’s why I’m a writer-first book coach.”
During our coaching call, she made me read that out loud. Twice.
And after much discussion about the various elements of my coaching, she dropped the gem that seemed so obvious only after she said it.
And I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since.
That one line totally shifted my perspective and how I approach my business. Before, I was essentially in constant hustle mode. (Well, as “hustle-y” as a human design projector can be.) I would work nonstop and justify it with “But I love what I do!” I didn’t know when to quit and just be Sabrina instead of Sabrina the Book Coach and Editor.
“You have to create that much space for yourself.”
I considered: What does spaciousness look like for me? What if it’s not just space for myself but in myself, too?
Following this curiosity led me to longer solo dates, more solo walks, more reading books for pleasure, more TV, more walks and dates with my husband, more phone calls with loved ones, more naps, more meditation, more hypnotherapy, more journaling. “Space” simply meant existing at my own pace and following my intuition on how to spend my time and how much energy to give to things.
And even though I was afraid I would fall behind on my projects or disappoint my clients with low quality work, literally NONE of that happened!
In fact, our sacral session was on 24 July, and in August I signed a new coaching client (bringing me to my goal of five 1:1 clients), had my first $5k revenue month; had a super fun and cute DIY brand photoshoot, and redid my entire website (which feels way more aligned than it used to).
In September, I received my fiction book coaching certification and two of my 1:1 clients (one of them was CarolLaine!) finished the first drafts of their manuscripts.
In October, I got stellar reviews on some editing projects I completed, another 1:1 client finished their book proposal, I took a weeklong vacation to celebrate four years of happy, healthy marriage, and I was invited to participate in a podcast-hosted writing challenge that will introduce me to 10,000+ writers.
I feel spacious, and I’m taking up space.
So much more happened over the last few months of my QML journey, but the biggest shift for me came from realigning my behavior and my beliefs with my spirit.
I am more confident than I’ve been in a long time. And I finally see myself as a true leader. Not because I have all the answers or know exactly what to do at any given time, but because I am fully myself and I trust that that is enough.
And for that…
😂
But I also want to thank CarolLaine, because the space she held for me, her guidance, and the example she set helped me step into this version of myself that baby Sabrina dreamed of. For that I am forever grateful.
If you’re interested, Dra. CarolLaine is hosting a Queen Mindset Leadership Mastermind, and doors open on Thursday, October 31st! I’m not getting paid to promote this (I swear!); I just really believe in the work she does. I’m a testament to how much can change in 15 weeks.
Imagine what’s possible for you.
